Advice to My Younger Self
“Be careful. Keep calm and don’t be afraid.
Don’t lose heart.” Isaiah 7:4 (NIV)
A group of single women was recently asked, "If you could have a cup of coffee or tea with an older woman you respect, what question would you ask her?" Here is a sample of their responses:
What are two or three things you know now that you wish you had known when you were in your 20’s?
How do you avoid always wishing for the “next” thing? How do you savor your current status?
How do you organize your time to make time with God a priority?
Where do your friendships come from?
In a dating relationship, how do I decide what my non-negotiables should be?
How do I maintain balance in my life (friends, family, job, rest)?
There were almost thirty responses to the survey question, but all of them can be characterized into four categories: wisdom and truth; relationships with God and others; contentment; priorities and maintaining life balance.
As I reflected on the first response question, I realized that my recent counsel to some young working moms is the exact advice that I would recommend to this group of single women. It’s also the advice I gave to two friends this week who were struggling with very different crises. And while I do realize that no one answer fits all situations, the seven strategies listed below are truth principles that, if applied, can allow us to gain some much-needed perspective and remain calm in whatever personal chaos, crisis, age, or stage of life we're in. Here are my personal strategies for maintaining CALM (my acronym for Christ Always Loves Me) in the chaos of life in a fallen world:
Realize that God knows where I am and means for me to be there. God is sovereign.
Guard my heart (Proverbs 4:23) and take every thought captive to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)
Choose faith; not fear. (Matthew 8:26) Both are a choice.
Discipline my emotions and do the next thing. (Elisabeth Elliott)
Pray, praise, and give thanks. (Philippians 4:6)
Do what I can and trust God with the rest. (Mark 14:8)
Build with an eternal perspective. (Proverbs 14:1)
All seven strategies could be summarized in just three words: God is faithful. Remembering that Christ always loves me somehow stabilizes my emotions and allows me to remain calm, whatever my personal chaos. Knowing that Jesus still speaks "Peace, be still" to my heart just as He did to the wind and the waves, allows me to discipline my emotions and do whatever next thing is required. Fear and faith are both choices that I make. I can choose faith, or I can choose fear, but I can't choose them both at the same time.
These biblical principles have been invaluable to me, not just in the last 19 months since James Bruce’s death, but through our 38-year special needs parenting journey with him. They also served me well as a working mom struggling to maintain a healthy work/life balance. Acknowledging God’s sovereignty and realizing that He knows where I am stabilized my heart and mind during my recent breast cancer treatment and Bruce’s recent open-heart surgery. God’s sovereignty in our suffering comforted us in our grief and strengthened us in our trials.
Wherever we are today, let’s remember that Christ always loves us. Our chaos or crisis may surprise us, but it never surprises God. He reigns and rules, orders our steps and stops, and speaks His peace to those who are willing to listen and obey. If we have little faith, we have big problems, but if we have a big God, nothing is impossible for Him. (Luke 1:37)