An Ever Present Help
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in time of trouble." Psalm 46:1 (NIV)
Psalm 46 has been my "back up" Psalm over the last months as I've witnessed my Mama's memory deterioration. It was always one of Mama's favorite passages of scripture, but it has taken on new meaning as I've read it to her again and again. I always end my visits with Mama by reading Psalm 23 hoping that the words "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death" will comfort and sustain her as she approaches that dark valley. Likewise, the words in Psalm 46 have shaped, not just my visits, but also my prayers for Mama.
Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in time of trouble" becomes a prayer as I pray, "God, please be our refuge and strength in time of trouble" or God, please be Mama's refuge and strength in her time of trouble."
The words from Psalm 46:2 "therefore we will not fear" becomes "God, help us not to fear though the earth give way or the mountains fall into the sea" in this difficult season of life and suffering.
Verses 7 and 11, "The Lord Almighty is with us," becomes my prayer of gratitude as I thank God that He is indeed with us in this hard place. And that prayer of thanksgiving also becomes a prayer of reflection as I remember all of the ways that God has been with us through the years.
But perhaps none of the psalmist's inspired words have fortified my soul better than Psalm 46:5 "God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day." Mama is quite literally a fall risk. Beyond the physical protection, however, is the promise that God Himself is in her and will protect and help her even as I cannot.
This week God has used these beloved words as we've experienced our own earth shaking and mountains quaking moments. James Bruce was discharged on Tuesday from his United Ability day program after 13.5 years. For the first time in thirty years, 21 years in public school and almost 14 at United Ability (formerly UCP), James Bruce doesn't have a place to go Monday through Friday. Added to that, Bruce's mom was hospitalized for a few days last week with an unexpected diagnosis.
Suddenly the words that I've been praying for my Mama have become emotional life supports for me. They have quite literally put steel into my soul as I remember, rehears, and recall these words:
God is still our refuge, a very present help in times of trouble (46:1)
God is within me; I will not fall (46:5)
God will help me at break of day, after a dark night of the soul (46:5)
The Lord Almighty is with us (46:7,11)
The God of Jacob is our fortress. (46:7,11)
God is still God and He will be exalted (46:10) in both life and death
The grass may wither and the flowers may fade, but the word of the Lord abides forever. It never changes. (Isaiah 40:8) God's words are true, trustworthy, and timeless. No matter how much our lives and circumstances change, and ours has changed a bunch this week, God's Word doesn't.
Bruce and I are working with James Bruce's case managers to try and find another sheltered day program. Please pray that we will choose faith and not fear as we work through various options. We are praying for clear direction (Isaiah 30:21, Jeremiah 42:3 (NIV) for James Bruce's short term and long term care. We know that the promise of Romans 8:28 is still true. We know that in ALL things God works both for our good and for His glory.