Athletics, Presence, and Hospitality
“All hard word brings a profit,
but mere talk leads only to poverty.”
Proverbs 14:23 (NIV)
A few weeks ago, I wrote about the ministry of being a little bit further along. Friday night I had the privilege of speaking to a large group of football moms at our local high school where our son Robert serves as the head football coach. Robert totally surprised me with his introduction.
“I don’t know what my Mom’s talking about tonight, but two things I’ve learned from her are the gifts of presence and hospitality. Presence means weddings and funerals, you go!” he said.
Robert had no way of knowing that presence and hospitality were two of my main points. Today’s Bible Bits is an edited version of my remarks to the moms. You may not be an athlete’s parent, but all of us can benefit from the Gifts of Presence and Hospitality.
Football season on all levels is upon us. Every football season is different, and some seasons are more memorable than others. Our 1998 VHHS high school football team won the 6A Alabama state championship by going 15-0. My husband’s first team as a head coach also had a perfect record: We were 0-10! Our family understands the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.
But football isn’t just about the win/loss record, is it? By participating in a team sport, a player’s decision is countercultural to our current obsession with the individual self. Our country has an epidemic of loneliness, isolation, depression, & suicide among teenagers & young adults. Participation in athletics provides young people a place to belong. Yet a report from the National Alliance for Youth Sports found that nearly 7 out of 10 children drop out of organized sports by the age of 13.
As a coach’s wife and a player’s mom, I believe in athletics. Two of our sons participated in both high school football and baseball. I don’t remember most of their wins or losses, but I do remember the benefits we reaped from their participation. These included:
Being a part of something bigger than yourself
Building relationships with others
Learning the value of hard work
Working toward shared goals
Developing discipline, diligence, & perseverance
Dealing with disappointment
Overcoming adversity
Learning to sacrifice yourself for others’ good.
Players aren’t the only ones who sacrifice by participating in a team sport. Parents and coaches do too. Team sports can be expensive in terms of both time and money. Workouts, summer camps, and daily practices all come with a cost. Sometimes it’s writing a check. Sometimes it’s giving up a vacation or driving a child to practice. Being a football parent is indeed a sacrifice, but it’s also an investment in a child’s future. Just a few of these players will play beyond high school, but the long term rewards that result from working hard, persevering, and finishing well can serve them well when life gets hard with jobs, marriage, or parenting.
Parents can contribute greatly to a team’s success. Here are some practical ways you can help:
Feed them – “If you feed them, they will come” was my experience throughout my husband’s coaching career. Our home served as a gathering place for many of our sons’ pre-game meals. Another coach’s wife wisely said, “My job is to keep the lights on, the doors open, and the cookies coming!” Hospitality doesn’t just feed bodies; it also builds relationships and creates opportunities for good conversations and fond memories.
Hug them – Teenagers often resist hugs but do it anyway. Hugging demonstrates both affection and acceptance, two of the essentials for building effectively.
Encourage them. Discouragement triggers often include fear, fatigue, frustration, failure, and loss of focus. Sometimes encouraging a child is as simple as ensuring that he is well- hydrated, fed, and rested.
Pray for them. Pray for their coaches too. Most teenagers are not very quick to tell you what is going on in their lives. Asking “How can I best pray for you?” is often the most effective way to gain access to your child’s heart.
Realize that everyone has a part to play. Each person is important and all of them together make up the team. Together we win or lose, not just in athletics, but in life.
Enjoy the journey! This football season will go fast; so will this season of life.
I don’t know what this year’s football season holds, but I am sure there will be both highs and lows. The highs will be really high, and the lows will be really low. I will be praying for your sons, and I hope you will pray for mine.