Begin With the End in Mind
“Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.”
Psalm 127:1 (NIV)
I recently heard a speaker laughingly describe his month of May as “Maycember.” It’s the busyness of a packed December holiday schedule combined with the May celebrations that recognize the successful completion of another school calendar year. The end result of a Maycember month is usually exhaustion!
The last two months have indeed been busy days filled with Birdie James’ adoption into our family; our granddaughters’ dance recitals, cheer banquets, end-of-the school year programs; and graduations ranging from pre-school to college. Each event represented a milestone celebration and an opportunity to rejoice.
Milestones also present a good opportunity for us as parents, grandparents, and mentors to consider the importance and priority of building. Our oldest son’s mantra as a high school coach is “build with the end in mind.” That’s not just good advice for football coaches, chefs, gardeners, or construction project managers. It’s also good advice for parenting and life.
The Bible has a lot to say about building. Surprisingly, the word “build” is used approximately 375 times in God’s Word. Christ promises to build His church (Matthew 16:18). The author of Hebrews declares that “God is the builder of everything (Hebrews 3:4). King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, once wrote, “The wise woman builds her house” (Proverbs 14:1) and the Apostle Paul writes, “Love builds up” (1 Corinthians 8:1).
The critical question we must ask ourselves each day is: “Am I building or am I tearing down?” We build or tear down with our actions, our attitudes, and most of all, with our words. Raising four teenagers, I quickly learned how hard it is to build and how easy it is to tear down. A few rotten words quickly spoken over 15 seconds could easily destroy three weeks of careful building.
Dr. Harry Reeder once said there are five essential “A’s” to building others up in love. We build as we demonstrate:
Acceptance
Affirmation
Affection
Availability
Accessibility
What if God asked each of us the same question that He once asked King Solomon: “What shall I give you?” (1 Kings 5:3) How would you respond? What would be your one request for yourself, your children, or your family?
Solomon could have asked for riches, honor, fame or a long life, but he didn’t. Given his choice, Solomon asked for a discerning heart to govern God’s people. God was pleased with Solomon’s request (1 Kings 3:10) and gave Solomon a wise and discerning heart (1 Kings 3:12). But God went above and beyond Solomon’s initial request by also giving him what he didn’t ask for: riches and honor (1 Kings 3:13).
I can’t purchase wisdom, character, integrity, honesty, diligence, perseverance, or salvation for my children or grandchildren, but I can ask God to give it. And so, I ask. Reading through the book of Proverbs I find over sixty-character qualities that form the basis of my parental prayers. These requests could best be characterized as the 4 C’s:
Character
Competence
Conduct
Connection (both vertical with God and horizontal with men)
My personal prayer list may be very different from yours, but the most important thing is for us to ask and keep asking God to do what only He can do: change hearts and lives! As parents and grandparents, we work as though it all depends on us, but we pray as though it all depends on God, trusting that He will work in us that which is pleasing to Him (Hebrews 13:21). Why not consider the end from the beginning using the pattern presented in Psalm 1 and the book of Proverbs and prayerfully decide what result you would like to see built into your life or the lives of your loved ones?
The best reason to pray is because God commands us to pray. He is a good, good heavenly Father and a much more God (Matthew 6:7-11) who knows our every need (Matthew 6:32) and gives good gifts to His children. This kind of prayer isn’t prosperity “name it and claim it” praying; it is simply taking God at His Word and by faith echoing King David’s prayer from 3000 years ago: “Lord, do as you have promised” (2 Samuel 8:25).
Begin with the end in mind and ask the One with the power to answer.