Desperate and Dependent

 “Ask! What shall I give you?”
1 Kings 3:5 (NKJV)

My maternal grandmother was an excellent seamstress who never learned to drive. That meant that whenever Mam-Maw needed a new dress pattern or more fabric, my Mama would take her to Alabama Mills, a large fabric store near our house. Mama couldn’t sew and didn’t care about dress patterns, so she usually shopped for our groceries while Mam-Maw looked at patterns or fabric. For a nine-year old little girl, shopping for groceries with Mama was boring compared to looking at the latest McCall’s, Vogue, or Butterick fashion catalogs. Given the choice, I always opted for the fabric store.

Most of the time Mam-Maw had a good idea of what she was looking for before we even began. She usually selected her pattern fairly quickly. I on the other hand, was fascinated with the large fashion books and could sit for an hour on a hard stool pouring over the pages, pictures, and patterns while Mam-Maw completed the rest of her sewing shopping.

Once Mam-Maw found her dress or skirt pattern, she carefully selected her fabric making sure that she purchased the correct amount required for her new pattern. After her fabric selection, it was time to pick the right color thread along with buttons, zippers, and whatever notions were needed to complete the garment to be sewn.

What was true for my Mam-Maw’s sewing projects is also true for my husband’s woodworking projects or my baking endeavors. It was equally true for God’s tabernacle and temple building projects: begin with the end in mind before you begin to create or build.

In 1989, when James Bruce was five years old, I stumbled onto the words recorded in Isaiah 45:11: “Ask Me about the things to come concerning My sons and you commit to Me the work of My hands.” Desperate for God’s guidance and help in parenting a child with special needs, I latched onto the words and began earnestly praying “OK God, you said ‘Ask’ and I am asking: What about James Bruce? What do we do and how do we do it???”

Gradually I realized that my desperate parenting prayers shouldn’t be limited just to James Bruce. I needed to be just as desperate and dependent on God in asking and praying for my three other children. Every parent understands that children never come with instructions. But fortunately, God never leaves us on our own. He has given us His Word as our instruction manual.

 What if God asked each of us the same question that He once asked King Solomon: “What shall I give you?” (1 Kings 5:3) How would you respond? What would be your one request for yourself, your children, or your family?

Solomon could have asked for riches, honor, fame or a long life, but he didn’t. Given his choice, Solomon asked for a discerning heart to govern God’s people. God was pleased with Solomon’s request (1 Kings 3:10) and gave Solomon a wise and discerning heart (1 Kings 3:12). But God went above and beyond Solomon’s initial request and also gave him what he didn’t ask for: riches and honor (1 Kings 3:13).

I can’t go to the store and purchase wisdom, character, integrity, honesty, diligence, perseverance, or salvation for my children or grandchildren, but I can ask God to give it. And so I ask.

Reading through the book of Proverbs I found over sixty character qualities that formed the basis of my parental prayers. These requests could best be characterized as the 4 C’s:

  • Character

  • Competence

  • Conduct

  • Connection, both vertical (God) and horizontal (men)

My personal prayer list is probably very different from yours, but the most important thing is for us to ask and keep asking God to do what only He can do: change hearts and lives! Why not consider the end from the beginning using the pattern presented in Psalm 1 and the book of Proverbs and prayerfully decide what end result you would like to see for your own family?

The best reason to pray is because God commands us to pray. He is a good, good heavenly Father and a much more God (Matthew 6:7-11) who knows our every need (Matthew 6:32) and gives good gifts to His children. This kind of prayer isn’t prosperity “name it and claim it” praying; it is simply taking God at His Word and by faith echoing King David’s prayer from 3000 years ago: “Lord, do as you have promised” (2 Samuel 8:25).

Begin with the end in mind and ask the One with the power to answer.