CALM in the Chaos
“Keep calm and don’t be afraid.”
Isaiah 7:4 (NIV)
Later this week I’ll be speaking to a diverse group of Christian women all of whom work outside their homes. Some of the women are working moms; others are single. Most of them are struggling with maintaining a proper balance between their work and personal or family priorities. Some of the questions I’ve been asked to address include:
How did you prioritize your personal and work schedules and priorities?
What tips would you give to those who find themselves in the same situation?
What would you say to the single woman about balance?
Before retiring in 2018, I had a 35-year healthcare career with a large academic medical center. My husband and I were also raising our four children, one of whom had special needs. Fortunately, my employer valued part-time working moms and I had a flexible schedule so that I could work while our children were in school and not give up being home for that crucial 3-5 PM window.
Here are a few of the practical strategies that worked for me as I personally struggled with having a demanding job and a busy family:
Compartmentalize as much as possible. Work items should stay at work; home tasks should stay at home.
Purpose to have good time management both at work and home. Bringing my lunch allowed me a few extra minutes for a brisk walk as exercise. My daily commute to and from work provided time for listening to podcasts or sermons. All of us have pockets of time can be used and not wasted.
Maximize your minutes & avoid distractions as much as possible.
Limit social media, scrolling news feeds, and personal phone calls.
Don’t be afraid to set boundaries both at home and at work.
Delegate what you can, but make sure you oversee whatever you delegate.
Ask for help when you need it.
Some strategies that Bruce and I used to help bring some order to our home and family life included:
A nightly family 15-minute cleanup/pick up drill after dinner. Even James Bruce could pick up his toys or carry laundry baskets. We set 15 minutes on the kitchen timer; let the answering machine catch phone calls; turned off the television and screens; and went as hard as we could for 15 minutes. Trash cans were emptied; shoes, clothes, and toys put away; laundry was folded or bathrooms and the kitchen were straightened. Some nights we vacuumed. Six people working together for 15 minutes produced 90 minutes of daily work and kept our clutter manageable. This habit also taught our kids life skills and kept me from going under. Along the way, Bruce implemented an extra rule: Anyone not fully participating for 15 minutes earned penalty minutes under his supervision. It worked!
A weekly Sunday night family meetings to review schedules and activities for the week. That one strategy helped to keep all of us on the same page with ballgames, school projects, appointments, and potential scheduling conflicts.
Quick “go to” meals and menus that could be made in under 30 minutes if the ingredients were on hand. These included beef stroganoff, spaghetti, taco soup, chili, and breakfast suppers. Crock pots and oven timed bake settings were also useful meal tools.
Organizing my car trunk with lawn chairs, tennis shoes, blankets, jackets, snacks, and bottled waters for the boys’ ballgames, piano lessons, and seasonal weather changes. Preparation was the key to avoid chaos.
One of the wisest pieces of advice that I received during this season of life came from author Elisabeth Elliot who wrote, “Discipline your emotions and do your next thing.” Elliot’s words became a lifeline for me when I struggled to balance both my family and my job. Faced with multiple choices on how to spend my limited time, I often prayed, “Lord, what IS my next thing? Help me to discipline my emotions and do it!”
Today’s verse also encouraged me to stay CALM in the middle of chaos. The word “calm” became my lifeline and is an acronym for “Christ Always Loves Me.” It is a reminder that no matter what else is happening, Christ always loves me. Holding onto that truth helped me to stay calm when everything else was falling apart. I also began to realize that my personal chaos usually happened when I was:
Confused
Harried or hurried
Agitated or angry
Out of control
Shocked or self-absorbed
Somehow identifying my chaos triggers helped me stay calmer both at home and at work.
No working mom can do it all, have it all, or be it all. We shouldn’t even try. But we can all do something. My life verse is Mark 14:8: “She did what she could.” When I’ve truly done my best, I can dump the guilt, ask God to redeem my time both at work and home, and then trust him with the result. He is always more than enough for whatever we need.
CALM in the Chaos: Christ Always Loves Me!