Don’t Waste Our Suffering

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6 (NIV)

It's occurred to me over the last few weeks as I've written about praying for our children and grandchildren that many of my prayer requests for my offspring are also not only applicable, but timely, requests for my aging 92 year old Mama with dementia. I've also been impressed as I considered how many of the 31 daily requests apply to me as one of Mama's caregivers. Among the many blessings, character qualities, or prayer requests that "fit" this age and stage for my Mama in this season of suffering are:

  • God's grace

  • Courage

  • Protection

  • Gratitude

  • God's glory 

  • Kindness

  • Assurance of salvation

Other items currently on the prayer calendar are more applicable for me as an adult caregiver. These include:

  • Love

  • A servant's heart

  • Patience

  • Diligence

  • Prayerfulness

  • Commitment

  • Faithfulness

  • Clear direction

  • Humility

  • Perseverance

  • Teachable

  • Maturity

  • Gratitude

  • Wisdom

  • Self control, especially with regards to my emotions and speech

  • Conduct worthy of the Gospel

Finally, other desirable characteristics which aren't currently on the prayer calendar, but certainly would be if I wrote one for caregivers and aging parents would include items such as:

  • A guarded heart

  • Contentment

  • Gentleness

  • Comfort

  • Provision

  • Trust

  • Strength

  • Discernment

  • Acceptance

  • The peace of God (vertical) and peace with other family members as decisions are made (horizontal)

  • Joy

Perhaps no two verses top my caregiver prayer list as much as Nehemiah 9:32 and James 1:2-3:

"Do not let all this hardship seem insignificant before you." Nehemiah 9:32 (NASB)

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance." (James 1:2-3 NASB)

Both verses, one Old Testament and one New Testament, could be summarized like this: "God, please don't waste our suffering!" He doesn't of course, but in the middle of the battle it's hard to remember that God uses suffering to develop maturity here and glory hereafter. The best reason to pray is because God is there and He has commanded us to pray.  Author Beth Moore once said, "God always answers prayer- either to demonstrate His sufficiency or His supremacy." Our job is to ask; His job is to answer.

The Apostle Paul comforts us with these words: "The Spirit helps our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." Romans 8:26-27 (NIV)

EldercareHolly Hollongrief, loss, suffering, prayer, comfort