Ordained or Allowed?
“The LORD reigns.”
Psalm 93:1 (NIV)
When James Bruce died suddenly two years ago, one of my first thoughts was, “I am no longer a special needs Mom.” We didn’t just lose our son; I also lost my identity as a special needs parent. I had advocated, protected, and fought for James Bruce for so long, that I really believed that special needs parenting was no longer a priority or ministry for me. Little did I know that God had other plans (Jeremiah 29:11).
Two weeks ago, speaking to a businesswomen’s luncheon, a woman approached me afterwards and asked if I would be willing to talk to a young mom whose son has special needs. Last week I had the privilege of meeting that mom, who at one point in our conversation turned to me and tearfully asked, “Did God ordain or allow this?”
“Both,” I responded gently before explaining further.
Before Adam and Eve’s Fall in the Garden of Eden, there was no death, disability, brokenness, or suffering. Everything that God made was good (Genesis 1:31). But after their Fall, God allowed Adam and Eve – and all of us- to experience the resulting consequences of sin. Those consequences included death, disability, and suffering. Author and disability advocate Joni Eareckson Tada, a quadriplegic for the last 57 years, wisely writes, “God permits what he hates to accomplish what he loves.”
More importantly, however, Scripture clearly teaches that God is sovereign. God reigns and rules over every single event in history. He is sovereign all the time and everywhere. He is sovereign over kings and kingdoms; special needs kids with genetic anomalies; infertility; a ¼ inch head turn at the exact moment to avoid an assassination attempt; and even a senior moment during a presidential debate. God reigns, rules, and governs his creation. Our world and our lives are determined by God’s sovereignty. Our hearts, however, are determined by our responses to that reality.
David Qaoud reflecting on God's sovereignty writes, "Fewer doctrines of the Christian faith are more comforting than the sovereignty of God. It humbles you in good seasons, provides hope in hard seasons, and gives joy in all seasons. The doctrine of God's sovereignty is a constant nourishment for the soul. The sovereignty of God is a sweet pillow that you can lay your head on at night. It is a beautiful truth not only that God is in control over all but is also working everything out- the good and the bad--for your good and for His glory. This sweet doctrine is medicine for the soul that you can take in any season of life."
But God isn’t just a sovereign God who reigns and rules. He is also the Sovereign King who served and suffered for us. Jesus humbled himself (Philippians 2:7), became a man, and came to earth to go, not to a throne, but to a cross. On the cross Jesus was abandoned by his Father, so that we would never be abandoned in our suffering. We have a Suffering Sovereign who knows and understands what it is to suffer. God never wastes our suffering but can use it in ways we may not ever fully understand.
I mistakenly thought my special needs ministry died with James Bruce, but God continues to open doors and gives me opportunities to speak and write for those who can’t speak for themselves (Proverbs 31:8-9). Sometimes it is listening one on one to a special needs mom who is dealing with the same questions I once asked. Sometimes it’s teaching a women’s retreat or speaking at a businesswomen’s luncheon. This summer it was teaching the Special Needs component of our church’s Theology of Life (Womb to Tomb) curriculum in our congregational communities.
Author Tim Challies writes, “What most people need and long for as they face trials and encounter questions is simply the dedicated attention of someone who is a little bit further along, the listening ear and gentle voice of someone who is a few steps ahead on the path of life, or the path of ministry, or the path of suffering, or the path of parenting. Most are merely seeking someone who will informally mentor them from the perspective of their own successes and failures, their own experiences of good and bad, the godly wisdom they have accumulated along the way.”
God never wastes our suffering. By His grace and for His glory, I am still a special needs Mom who can testify that “this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.” (John 9:3)