Smiles, Tears, and Songs

"When you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a word behind you saying, "This is the way; walk ye in it." Isaiah 30:21

If I had any lingering doubts about our decision to move my 92 year-old Mama to a memory care unit, two visits this week quickly dispelled my fears. Monday morning when I visited Mama, she wasn't in her room. Her wheelchair was there, but Mama's walker was gone. She wasn't in her bathroom either. It's a secure unit so I didn't think Mama was missing, but I was still a little rattled when I didn't find her. Her first week in memory care Mama barely left her room, slept a lot, didn't eat very much, was steadfastly attached to a large white stuffed teddy bear, and told me repeatedly, "These people are pitiful. Why am I here?"

I started down the hall, made my way past the large group activity room, and finally found her sitting with a group of residents on the other end of the unit. Mama's face brightened when she saw me. She motioned for me to sit down beside her. To her left sat another memory care resident, a man not much older than me, whose hand Mama was holding. I knew from past visits that this man was once a gifted and skilled surgeon. 

"Bless his heart, " Mama said, "he can't talk." I smiled at Dr. M, said hello, and gave Mama an update on the local flooding at our family's lake house. Mama and Daddy built that house 50 years ago and it's the one place that she still says, "I wish I could go to the lake." We chatted a few minutes and I asked her if we could have a prayer before I left. Mama said yes, and grabbed my hand with her free hand, never letting go of the gentleman's hand. I prayed a short prayer, asking God for grace in this hard season of life, said Amen and looked up to see two tears trickling down the Dr. M's cheeks. I realized that though his voice and memory have left him, on some level, perhaps his heart, he still had some sort of understanding of what had just happened. Tears ran down my cheeks too as I said my goodbyes.

Tuesday afternoon found me back at the memory care unit looking for Mama again. This time I knew where to look when she wasn't in her room. A young aide had a group of residents in music therapy singing the old hymn "Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus." Mama's singing was music, not just to my ears, but to my heart as well. Mama's beloved teddy bear sat alone in her room, no longer needed for her comfort. Mama is finding joy in community and helping others who need her help whether it's holding a hand or singing a hymn.

To be sure, there will be more bad days with Mama's dementia, but I am grateful for two good days and God's tender mercies of smiles, tears, and songs still remembered. Truer words were never spoken, "Tis is sweet to trust in Jesus."