Your Father Knows Your Need
"I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat...what you will wear...your Father knows your need." Luke 12:22, 30b
My writing time has been very limited lately. Weddings, work, and teaching a weekly women's Bible study intersected over the last two weeks and forced me to focus on all things but writing Bible Bits. I've really missed the writing and each of you. The 'tyranny of the urgent," however, demanded that I follow author Elisabeth Elliot's timeless advice and "discipline your emotions and do the next thing."
Our youngest son Daniel is getting married in January. Daniel has worked in Washington and lived in Virginia for almost six years. He met his fiancee Olivia at his home church McLean Presbyterian (PCA) and that is where they will marry. Olivia is currently studying for her PhD in New York at Cornell University. We've gotten to know Olivia over the last three years, but we've never met her parents. Last weekend some dear Birmingham friends hosted a lovely bridal shower for Daniel and Olivia. We invited Olivia's parents to come and stay with us for the weekend so that we could all have a chance to at least meet before the January wedding.
All of this is pretty typical parents and future in laws, meet and greet, blend two families details with one exception: James Bruce. Nothing about James Bruce is typical. I don't care how many times the "label," description, or name of the diagnosis changes for political correctness, the bottom line is that there is nothing typical about a 33 year old, 175 pound grown man with autism, intellectual challenges, and seizure disorder who functions much like a 3 year old child. The bottom line for us is that James Bruce doesn't handle changes in routine well and doesn't meet strangers easily. All of this to say, I was praying for the whole weekend. Not just the logistics of where to put more bodies than bedrooms or food for extra people or weather and people to come for the bridal shower, but mainly that James Bruce could handle all of the changes at once.
Beyond the logistics, I realized that my own heart was churning and burning. I was worried and anxious about a hundred details, not the least of which was "What will Olivia's parents think of us?" Ironically (or maybe providentially), in getting ready to teach this week's Lessons in Luke study, I was working through Luke 12. My chapter heading for Luke 12:22-34 reads "do not worry." In this passage, Jesus challenges us with his command: "Do not worry." He also reassures us that our God is a "much more God" and a "good, good, heavenly Father." But just as importantly, Jesus also rebukes his disciples (and us!) for having "little faith." Throughout the Gospels, there are five root causes cited for displaying little faith: worry, anxiety, fear, doubt, and dullness (slow of heart). As last Friday drew closer, I recognized all five causes at work in my heart and mind. The result? One churning and burning, anxious and worried heart.
Our weekly Bible study asked me how they could best pray for our weekend. My standard personal prayer request is for "grace and pace." I know I'm a Type A driven person who often runs on empty. But this time, I asked them to pray that my heart wouldn't "churn and burn." It' pretty easy to teach biblical principles on guarding one's heart; it's much harder to actually do it. And so I asked them to pray for James Bruce's overall behavior, for Olivia's parents who were pretty much blindly walking into the middle of our lives, and mainly for my heart not to churn and burn. Author Howard Hendricks was correct when he wrote, "The heart of the problem is the problem of the heart."
Friday morning came and I had a "to do" list a mile long, but I felt people praying. By God's grace, I probably did a week's worth of errands in under four hours. I found parking places at each business, had "no lines, no waiting" checkouts, made most of the traffic lights without traffic delays, attended a funeral visitation, and got home by lunchtime. Throughout the day, friends kept bringing food that I didn't even know I needed (but I did!). Someone brought a dessert. Several brought salads and one sweet friend made about 20 pounds of Fleming's macaroni and cheese! Everything fit perfectly with Honeybaked Ham and grilled hamburgers. With each food item delivery, Jesus' words "your Father knows your need" rang in my heart and head.
The major test came when Olivia's parents arrived shortly after 6PM on Friday night. We quickly ate dinner so that Bruce and Olivia's dad could attend the Rebels’ football game. Olivia's mom and I stayed with James Bruce and began getting to know each other. After a few minutes I took a deep breath and asked if she had any concerns or questions about us that she'd like to ask. She seems surprised but said, "Who will be James Bruce's caregiver if something happens to you or Bruce?" It was/is a great question and one that Bruce and I had just discussed (again by God's providence) with James Bruce's case manager on Thursday. I was honestly able to discuss the plans that we have in place for James Bruce's long-term care.
Fast forward to late Saturday night and sitting around our kitchen table after a busy 24 hours. Olivia's Dad, a pediatrician in Charlotte, remarked, "In twenty years of private practice, I've only seen two patients with autism who are as calm as James Bruce. And like James Bruce, they demonstrated the Spirit of Christ." James Bruce, with his love of music, and especially his love for hymns had been singing himself to sleep at night. Others were listening.
Last weekend did little to resolve the logistical challenges that we still face with James Bruce as we anticipate Daniel's upcoming out of state winter wedding. What it did, however, was to establish an Ebenezer, a stone of help, (1 Samuel 8:12) in my life. Ebenezers are memorial stones and reminders of God's faithfulness. My heart is still prone to churn, burn, and worry. But my Ebenezer weekend reminds me of three important lessons, not just in Luke, but also actually in my life:
Do not worry
God is a much more God
And a good, good heavenly Father
Wherever we are today, whatever our circumstances or suffering, God still commands us "Do not worry" and reassures us that "your Father knows your need."
Amen and Amen!
Donna