God is Always Good

Photo by Heather Durham

"though dead, yet by her faith she still speaks."
Hebrews 11:4 (NIV)

I've been thinking a lot lately about my good friend Laura Black. We had an unusual friendship not only because she was young enough to be my daughter, but also because Laura was wise beyond her years. I first met Laura, a young thirty something mom of two children in 2008 when she was a patient at the hospital where I was employed. We both attended the same church and I had heard her unusual story. Pregnant with her third child, Laura couldn't shake a sinus infection and went to see an ENT physician. On examination, the doctor noticed that Laura's lymph glands were swollen well beyond that of a sinus infection. Within hours Laura was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer which, of course, didn't just complicate her life, but also complicated her pregnancy.

Laura and her husband Bill were both very pro-life and committed to her pregnancy. The oncologists presented several treatment options and in the end, Laura opted for an older chemotherapy agent which hopefully would slow the tumor's growth but not harm her baby. The tumor continued to grow and Laura had a mastectomy while still pregnant. Two months later, her medical team decided to go ahead and do an emergency caesarean section, deliver the little girl prematurely, and begin aggressive chemotherapy as soon as possible. The caring bridge website was just beginning to take off and Laura, a trained lawyer and excellent writer, recorded her journey well. She pulled no punches about the ravages of cancer, but she left absolutely no doubt about her security, eternal assurance, and comfort.I lost count of the times that Laura challenged me with her words:

Question: What is our only comfort in life and in death?

Answer:  That I am not my own, but belong with body and soul, both in life and in death, to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood, and has set me free from all the power of the devil. He also preserves me in such a way that without the will of my heavenly Father not a hair can fall from my head; indeed, all things must work together for my salvation. Therefore, by his Holy Spirit, he also assures me of eternal life and makes me heartily willing and ready from now on to live for him. 

Laura's challenging words were not actually her own, though trust me, she owned them. Her words are the first question and answer of the Heidelberg Catechism, a sixteenth century catechism written by a team of theology professors and pastors and first published in Heidelberg, Germany in 1563. I'm not sure when or how Laura learned the Heidelberg Catechism, but I do know that she lived it. Over the next four years through all of her highs and lows, Heidelberg Catechism Question 1 was Laura's "go to" solace.

I was fortunate to sit with Laura during her last chemo treatment. Her oncology clinic nurse had arranged for Laura to get her chemo infusion out of the main fray and placed her in a little quiet nook. I caught up with her on a work break and God gave us about 40 minutes to talk and reflect on her four year cancer journey. It was a June Wednesday and my family and I were leaving the next day for a four day beach weekend to attend my niece's wedding. I assured Laura that I would be back on Monday and bring dinner to her family. Laura, being Laura, smiled and said, "Don't worry!" We prayed before parting and as I turned to leave, Laura called me back saying, "Donna!" I turned back to see what she wanted.

Firmly Laura said, "No matter what happens, just remember that God is always good and we are always loved."

Those turned out to be our last words together. Laura agreed to Hospice care on Friday night at 630PM and died Saturday night about 930 PM as her friends and family surrounded her singing "It is Well With My Soul." At one point the group stopped singing realizing that the end was near. Laura's last words reportedly were "keep singing." Her four year old Caroline instructed one of the young moms present to get her pink Bible from her room and read what her Mama had already highlighted. Jesus' words from John 14 became Laura's to her children and indeed to the rest of us: "Let not your hearts be troubled." (John 14:1)

Laura's words- "God is always good and we are always loved-" and those of the Catechism continue to bring me great comfort during this unsettling season of Covid-19 pandemic, forced quarantine, economic challenge, and social distancing. Pastor/Author Dr. Kevin DeYoung writing in his book The Good News We Almost Forgot says, "We live in a world where we expect to find comfort in possessions, pride, power and position. But the Catechism teaches us that we don't even belong to ourselves. How countercultural and counterintuitive! We can endure suffering and disappointment in life and face death and the life to come without fear of judgment, not because of what we've done or what we own or who we are, but because of what we do not possess, namely our own selves....When we think of living and dying in comfort, we imagine La-Z-Boy recliners, back rubs, and all the food you can eat (with none of the pounds, of course). But the Catechism has in mind a different kind of comfort, one that is deeper, higher, richer, and sweeter. We find this comfort by admitting our sin, instead of excusing it; by trusting in Another instead of ourselves; and by living to give thanks instead of being thanked." (p.22-23)

Wherever we are today, Laura's words are still timeless and true. God is always good and we are always loved.