Faith and Footsteps
"By faith from first to last." Romans 1:17 (NIV)
We are fast approaching James Bruce's 36th birthday on February 1. Each year around this time, I reflect on some of the most important milestones in our almost 36 year parenting journey with James Bruce. I realized when he was two months old that our third child was very different from his brother and sister. It wasn't, however, until James Bruce was three years old that we got an official diagnosis; "mild mental retardation, origin unknown." I remember leaving the UAB Center for Developmental and Learning Disabilities on one very cold day in April,1987. The attending psychologist had just given me the news that I honestly already in my heart of hearts knew, but hoped with every fiber of my being was not true. Finally, someone confirmed my worst fears. In some ways James Bruce's diagnosis was almost a relief from the constant fear of the unknown.
Unfortunately, the psychologist immediately followed his diagnosis with a surprising question: "How does that make you feel?" I wasn't prepared for his insensitive question and I responded with something along the lines of "we will just trust God with James Bruce's life." Truth be told, I felt as if someone had just kicked me in my gut, but I was determined to gather my son and get out of his office as fast as possible. I quickly scooped James Bruce into my arms and began carrying him to our car. Once out on the street, my tears started streaming as I faced both the bitter April wind and our new diagnosis. Over and over, I kept asking God what Bruce and I were going to do with this child. I heard no audible voice, but from somewhere deep within my soul, the words "the just shall live by faith" (Romans 1:17) kept coming to my mind and heart."
I readily acknowledged the truth and reality of those six words, but I kept peppering God with questions like: "But what does that look like? How do we do it?" Again, there was no audible voice, only the quiet assurance that we should face this challenge one step at a time and trust God for the very next step. And that's what we done for the 33 years since that day. Along the way, God has provided every single thing that we needed: an elementary special needs program with a wonderful special education teacher who also had a special needs child; trained therapists to help improve James Bruce's speech, fine motor, and gross motor skills; teacher aides who became life long friends who still maintain contact for movie and dining outings. Eventually the high school added a multi-challenged classroom so that students like James Bruce could "age out" with their peers. Our church began a multi-faceted special needs ministry that included Sunday School, Vacation Bible School, camp, occasional respite care, and a parent support group. James Bruce attended United Ability's adult day program for almost 14 years after high school and is currently attending the ARC of Central Alabama. Every need has been met and as I look back over the last 36 years, I find myself echoing Abraham's words recorded in Genesis 22. When asked by his son Isaac, "Father, where is the lamb?" Abraham responded, "The Lord will provide..the Lord will provide..on the mountain of the Lord it will be provided."
Last spring Bruce and I began the residential application process for James Bruce and placement at Rainbow Omega, a Christian group home for adults with intellectual disabilities, located at Eastaboga. Many of you have prayed with and for us that James Bruce would be selected for one of the four upcoming resident slots. We knew it was a long shot because there were fifty applicants for the four openings. From the outset, Bruce and I were determined to "pray it through" knowing that if God wanted James Bruce at Rainbow Omega, He could get him there. And if God didn't want him there, we didn't want him there either. The months of waiting and not knowing have been difficult, but Bruce was especially determined not to call or push for information or status updates. So we waited and prayed; prayed and waited not knowing what our next step with James Bruce would be, but knowing that God has been and is faithful.
Monday we received word that James Bruce has been accepted for residential placement at Rainbow Omega beginning in February. We covet your prayers for James Bruce and for us as his parents. After months of waiting, February suddenly seems very close and all of my parental "what ifs" have kicked into high gear. There's a reason that the Bible has over 360 "fear not/do not be afraid" references. Fear is typically the first emotion we encounter when faced with a change or crisis. The truth is we can choose faith or we can choose fear, but we can't choose them both at the same time.
"The just shall live by faith" is such an important truth that it is repeated four times in scripture. (Habakkuk 2:4, Romans 1:17, Galatians 3:11, Hebrews 10:38) Habakkuk's words are just as true today as they were when they were written some 2800 years ago. Each year I try to have a "theme" prayer verse for that year. Up until this week, I struggled with selecting my 2020 Evans family prayer verse. After Monday's phone call while preparing a women's Bible study lesson on Romans 1, Paul's words "by faith from first to last" resonated with me and I knew I had my 2020 prayer verse. From the cradle to the grave we are called to live "by faith from first to last." And James Bruce's upcoming move to Rainbow Omega- and all the changes that this brings for Bruce and me- are part of our 'by faith" journey.
Thank you so much for your prayers for all of us. We covet them in the days ahead as we move forward with this life-change, one step at a time.
"By faith from first to last" (Romans 1:17)