Happy Birthday James Bruce!
"Thus far the Lord has helped us.”
1 Samuel 7:12 (NIV)
Today is James Bruce’s 37th birthday. We celebrated yesterday with an Evans family lunch after church. It was happy chaos as James Bruce and his Grandmother (Mimi) whose birthday was January 30, gathered with other family members; opened gifts; ate cake and ice cream; and drank our traditional “Mimi” punch.
Each year around his birthday, I reflect on some of the most important milestones in our 37-year parenting journey with James Bruce. He was two months old when I realized that our third child was very different from his older brother and sister. James Bruce was three years old when we got an official diagnosis; "mild mental retardation, origin unknown." He was five years old when genetic testing revealed a chromosomal anomaly on Chromosome 15. One tiny additional amount of chromosome material means that James Bruce is exactly the way God created him to be. James Bruce was 9 years old when he received his autism diagnosis and seizures began at age eighteen. But the one milestone that perhaps stands out greater than any other didn’t come with a diagnosis. Instead, it came with a challenge and a prayer.
For the first five years of James Bruce's life, I prayed for God to make him "normal." (We didn’t have the word “typical” back then!) One day Bruce came home from work, found me sobbing uncontrollably, and wisely said, "I think we need to quit praying that God will make him normal, and start praying that God will use him for His glory." I angrily replied, "How could God ever use this?" but as my prayers changed, so did I.
God has graciously answered that “God use him for Your glory” prayer in many ways that we do know about and in countless ones that we don't. All of my speaking, teaching, and writing are the direct result of that prayer. So are VHHS special needs classes, Briarwood Special Connections ministries, PCA national disability conferences, and Evans children and grandchildren who truly know what it is to “speak up for the rights of the needy” (Proverbs 31:8-9). Each is a treasure of our darkness (Isaiah 45:3 NASB), not just for the lessons learned during suffering, but also for experiencing God’s amazing grace that came with each step of faith taken.
Over the last 37 years God has provided every single thing that we needed:
An elementary special needs program with a wonderful special education teacher who was also a special needs mom
Trained therapists to help improve James Bruce's speech, fine motor, and gross motor skills;
Teacher aides who became life long family friends and respite care-givers
A VHHS additional multi-challenged classroom to provide an age appropriate education
A multi-faceted Briarwood Church special needs ministry that provided special needs Sunday School, Vacation Bible School, camp, occasional respite care, and a parent support group.
15 years of Adult Day Programs at United Ability and the ARC
Grace for the last year of 24/7 shelter in place Covid pandemic restrictions
Every need has been met and as I look back over the last 37 years, I find myself echoing Abraham's words recorded in Genesis 22. When asked by his son Isaac, "Father, where is the lamb?" Abraham responded, "The Lord will provide..the Lord will provide..on the mountain of the Lord it will be provided."
Two years ago Bruce and I began the application process for James Bruce’s long-term residential placement at Rainbow Omega, a Christian group home for adults with intellectual disabilities. Many of you prayed with and for us that James Bruce would be selected for one of the coveted resident slots. His move to Rainbow Omega was postponed last year due to the Covid pandemic, but we now have a tentative move in date for March 4, 2021. God continues to provide for our next step.
As you can imagine, James Bruce’s birthday today is bittersweet as we move forward into this next stage of our special needs parenting journey. We covet your prayers, not just for him, but also for us. Quite honestly, it’s hard to imagine not caring for him 24/7 after 37 years. It is also hard to hand over control of his care to others. But the truth is that James Bruce was God’s son and responsibility before he was ours and he will be God’s long after he is ours. (Isaiah 45:11 NASB) Long term, this is what Bruce and I believe is best for James Bruce as we age.
There's a reason that the Bible has over 360 "fear not/do not be afraid" references. Fear is typically the first emotion we encounter when faced with a life change or crisis. The truth is we can choose faith or we can choose fear, but we can't choose them both at the same time.
This morning I woke up with the lyrics of a long-forgotten song on my heart and mind:
I will not be afraid
I will not be afraid
I will look upward
And travel onward
And not be afraid.
“Do not fear, for I am with you.” Isaiah 41:10
Onward, upward, and unafraid only by His grace!
Happy Birthday, James Bruce!