Words that Hurt, Words that Heal
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,
but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs."
Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)
Our Proverbs Wise Woman’s Bucket List study continued last week with a look at the third category on our Bucket list: watching our words. Speech is a good gift from God that can be used for either good or evil, but only God can help us to use it for good and not evil.
For our study, we've been using Carole Mayhall's wonderful book, Words that Hurt, Words that Heal. Our words have the potential to do just that- hurt or heal others. When we brag, complain, lie, criticize, gossip, slander, or respond in anger we hurt or tear down someone else. When we speak words of comfort, encouragement, praise, or affirmation, we help others. One of the best ways to examine our words is to ask some important questions:
Am I building or am I tearing down? (Proverbs 14:1)
Am I hurting or helping someone else? (Proverbs 12:18)
Is my speech true, kind, and necessary? (Proverbs 24:26 NIV, Proverbs 31:26 NASB)
If the answer to the criteria in that third question is: "No," then don't say it. One of our top lesson takeaways or life applications was "When in doubt, DON'T!" That important principle is not only applicable for our spoken words, but also for the words we type or text using social media.
Paul's admonition to the Ephesians was one of our study’s cross-reference verses. The Greek word for "unwholesome" is literally our English word for “rotten.” I have always read the verse as "don't let any rotten" word come out of your mouth. A friend, however, provided new insight when she said her pastor's take on this verse was "death breath." Suddenly, in my mind and heart, I visualized breath mints. Advertisers call breath mints "Lifesavers." What a sharp contrast to "death breath!" Words that help or heal, affirm, or point the way to God and His flawless Word are literally lifesavers. Words that destroy, tear down, and are rotten are indeed "death breath."
All of us have a choice today. By God's grace and the power of His Holy Spirit, we can be lifesavers or we can go our own way and let rotten words-death breath- come from our lips. The choice doesn't come from our lips- it comes from our hearts. Jesus said, "Out of the abundance of a man's heart, the mouth speaks." (Luke 6:45) To guard our lips, we must first guard our hearts. Doing so, however, guards not just our lips and hearts, but our lives and the lives of others. So, wherever we are today, let’s guard our lips; guard our hearts; guard our lives!
It isn't just a matter of breath- it's a matter of life and death!
“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18