Special Needs Ministry: Invite and Include

“I was a stranger and you invited me in.”
Matthew 25:35 (NIV)

Disability and special needs parenting are very isolating for families, but there are many ways that we can help those affected by disability. Two primary ways we can come alongside them are to invite and include.

Last week our Special Connections Ministry did just that as we invited families and agencies within our community to attend our 2024 Special Connections Resource Fair. Sixty-four agencies and dozens of families and caregivers attended the event. Walking around the venue I was overwhelmed as I considered how far we as a church have come. In 1991 our church had no special needs classes or disability ministry. Bruce and I taught a four-year old typical Sunday School class and took 7-year old James Bruce with us so we could attend church together as a family. At the end of that year, I met with our Senior Pastor who quietly asked, “Donna, what’s the problem?”

I explained the dilemma as calmly as I could before asking, “What are we going to do about this?”
Our sweet pastor thought a minute before replying, “Well, we’re going in!” And Briarwood Church went all in with our Special Connections ministry. James Bruce was a catalyst for change and helped pave the way for others to follow.

Special needs kids and families rarely get invited to typical parties or weddings.  Inviting and including might be as simple as inviting a special needs child to your typical child’s birthday party or wedding. James Bruce was ten years old before he received such an invitation. I cried when I opened that special invitation. I wept, however, when the child’s kind mother declined my RSVP refusal and insisted, “It wouldn’t be DeVan’s birthday party without James Bruce!”  

In 2007 I began praying that God would allow me to use my pharmacist skills to serve on a medical mission trip. It seemed like an impossible request because of all the logistics associated with James Bruce’s care, but I kept praying. Little did I know how God would answer that prayer.

One Saturday Bruce, James Bruce, and I attended a Special Connections family lake picnic. Another special-needs mom had, on the spur of the moment, invited a new family to come. Surprisingly, they did- all the way from Hungary! As we chatted that day, I learned that my new friend Adrien and I shared much in common. Adrien was a special needs mom living less than ten minutes from my house. She was also a pharmacist in her native Hungary and her husband, a cardiologist, was working on his PhD at the same hospital where I worked.  We connected almost immediately.

My excitement rose quickly. What was the likelihood of a Hungarian pharmacist/special needs mom living in my community coming to our special-needs family lake outing?
 "Where do you go to church?" I asked hesitantly.
”We'd like to go to church, but we don't know where to go,” Adrien replied.  “Where do you go?"

With that exchange, Adrien literally walked into my life. My longed-for short-term mission trip became a 22-month friendship that didn’t just change Adrien’s life; it changed mine!  Together Adrien and I enjoyed coffee at Panera, lunch at O’Carr’s, Sunday School at Briarwood, covered dish dinners, special education IEPs, and multiple ESL flash card sessions.

God also provided numerous life-on-life activities and ways to practice hospitality. Family weddings, Christmas nativity walk-throughs, Bridge-to-Life conversations, and high school baseball games all provided opportunities to demonstrate hospitality and develop our friendship until Adrien and her family returned to Hungary.  Along the way, I was privileged to see many changes come into my new friend's life, but none was more significant than the day I drew the Bridge-to-Life diagram on a restaurant paper napkin. We were eating lunch when Adrien suddenly cried, "I now know why we had to come to the United States. I finally have some light in my darkness!"

My friendship with Adrien probably wouldn’t have happened without my other friend’s kind invitation. Ultimately that invitation prepared Adrien to accept a greater invitation to personally know Jesus. Invitation and inclusion require us to take a risk, get out of our comfort zone, and look beyond ourselves. There are countless ways we can provide biblical hospitality. Not all of them include providing food or opening our homes, but each one requires us opening our hearts.

Who do you know who would benefit from your invitation and inclusion?